Jarvage Vol. 2

by Jarv

supported by
exraye
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exraye Beats are hella fresh like a subway footlong-Flow is insane and can not be matched. Jarv is too good.. like KAAN. Favorite track: Defense Mech.
rianhoover
rianhoover thumbnail
rianhoover I've been sending Eminem messages to do a song with you, cause i think you'd both come up with some crazy shit....Love the beats.
Kartahn
Kartahn thumbnail
Kartahn Another example of Jarv flexing on the english language, the man's a monster. Favorite track: King-Loser.
kapital Smalls
kapital Smalls thumbnail
kapital Smalls Definitely had to cop a copy. I'm grateful that lyricism is still a respected craft. My dude Jarv is fresh as fuck
JakeVN
JakeVN thumbnail
JakeVN Dude, “this is it” is flame! You and your dude bounce back an forth so good! I’m so stoked on this album, listened to its entirety more times then I can count
Sean Taylor
Sean Taylor thumbnail
Sean Taylor Great album mate, awesome work!
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about

5TR8 TR4$H

credits

released October 17, 2018

All beats by Jarv excluding "Roast Beef" (Kato On The Track) and "That's Life" (Shuko)
DJ Myth did the cuts at the end of "Stand Still"
Recorded, mixed, mastered and designed by Jarv
Photos by Lillian Seibert for Gold Wing Photography

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Jarv Windsor, Vermont

Name's Jarv, large R-tard

contact / help

Contact Jarv

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Track Name: Fine
Umm, hey, hello, hi, how ya’ doing? I’m fine
With a stomach full of alcohol and nothing on my mind
I’m just another slime ball, shout out to my family
I’m jumping on the rhyme like I’m bouncing on a trampoline
I’m amped to be so much bigger than I expected
I may not be shit- Still the biggest in my section
I’m flexing- Yes, I guess I never learn my lesson
If you didn’t dig my last shit, you’ll have to catch my next shit
I beckon to the moon, I mean I’m howling- I’m clever
I’ll tell you that you’re whack like Simon Cowell or whatever
Don’t play me like a joker, bloke- I ain’t your freaking jester
I’m keeping these ladies licking their lips like Heath Ledger
Speaking metaphorically, the heat-seeking majority
Still could never compete with me- I beat each of them mortally
I sorta see myself as something y’all could never fluff with
Rip it off the cuff and it’s spontaneous combustion
But this one here is written, some of all y’all don’t know the difference
Far too busy speaking to even begin to listen
I pissed in the pot while kicking the hornets’ nest
If you don’t get this, ya’ get left- Yes, yes
Test, test, one, two- Honey, who flung shit?
I burnt son once, you never heard son since
Put trust in the functions, if a punk talk slick
I crush him like six tons of cinderblock bricks
Pick a side, any side’s fine with me
I devise these rhymes and I rhyme for me
And I’ll recite these rhymes over this beat I made
‘Cause while your digging in your booty, I’ll be digging through the crates
While they say my style is old school, I say my style is classic
I also say your whole contrived style’s completely trash, kid
I smash with the force of a hearse against a person
And it only gets worse- Can you imagine? For sure ‘cause yo-
This ain’t the first time this jerk burst berserk rhymes
I blurt lines that cure swine and ensure guys get hurt spines
If you’re trying to merge mine with yours, I can sure find
That your time is well-wasted, I lace tales with pure grime

I’m fine
Yeah, I’m feeling pretty good today
I said I’m fine
Yes, I’m feeling fucking decent
I’m fine
I’m feeling pretty good today
I said I’m fine
Yes, I’m feeling fucking decent, listen

Can you handle this man slamming his stamp on a beat
Eager to do damage, ransack and then trample you?
I separate a sandwich into cold cuts
I’ll never let a man tell me what I can and can’t put in my sampler
I cancel a chancellor, assuming a stance above
High ranking officials ‘fore they even understand what’s up
Hands go up for the black sheep lacking in sleep
Listening to records like my sister Heather watches Vanderpumps
Fuck
That
Bull
Shit
I
Can’t
Watch
That
Shit
Hell no
I’m just tryina get Nahte the fuck up off his cell phone
I’m just tryina quit being a hypocrite but hell knows
Evil goes, “ding” as if it’s me for whom the bell tolls
I felt so good until reality snapped
Fact; underground rappers have a salary cap
Uhhhh, I should probably go and like, get a real job
I should probably go to college, I should probably stop
But this the only thing that I like
I put my time into the beat, I put these rhymes in the mic
I put the crowd in a frenzy, I put the key in the lock
I put my heart and soul into leaving MCs in a box
Look at me- Lock it up
Got a lot of props, but it’s not enough
Watch the way I rock, a flop MC will get his nozzle shut
Spouting all that drivel, I dribble and drop schemes
That’ll leave a weak MC busted and split at the seams
Spit it? Indeed, yes, I do
It seems that I’ve grew grown
I bruise bones of you clones who’ve misused and threw stones
I’m easily through competing with you
And so a purgatory deep within the beat’ll be your new home
You know nothing of J A R V
What I’m lacking in the funding, I make up for with the bars
Please sit your bitch-ass down before I make liquid
Of your beats and your rhymes and your entire existence

But I’m fine
I’m feeling pretty good today
I said I’m fine
Yes, I’m feeling fucking decent, bro
I’m fine
I’m feeling pretty good today
I said I’m fine
Yes, I’m feeling fucking decent, baby
Track Name: Placenta
Big nose, hunch back- Kick those dumb raps
Sipping Jack while the homies lick-closed blunt wraps
Schizo; fun fact- the kid knows comebacks
So fork over your skunk sacks and bunk flows, run that
I don’t need the flows, heaven knows I got plenty
But you don’t need ‘em either, see, they’re weak and gut-wrenching
“Does Jarv have many steez?” That depends, tell me-
Do hippies eat placentas? Does VAG own Bentley?
I spaz, don’t tempt me- y’all don’t wanna hear it
Turn me up to ten- prone to render domes earless
Tender poem speaking- If that shit is a crime
I’m a career criminal, leaving MCs careerless
I roll up in a clear whip; Invisible Boatmobile
You can hear the tires squeal when I gear-shift
Pierce this atmosphere, fully fearless
Send it into orbit, I’m morbid and I appear pissed
But I am not, I’m calm, tryina drop bombs
If I pop I’ll probly buy stock in Nautica and Izod
If I flop, it’s your fault- I might stop
I’m just joshing you, my god- Get off my jock, Paesan
I style on you with much grace- How my nuts taste, fuckface?
I must place some slut-shame on me, like, “what fuck Nate??”
I’ll scrub the bloodstains up off of the rug
Once your crustacean love-mate is done making the duck-face
Son, I crush stages- Y’all just go through ‘em
Steady elevating while your wading in the sewers
Successful, superb, superior to your stupid little futile, useless losers
Usurp you, sir- You earned two-for-one, dumb Jarv in a drunken stupor
Walking ‘round talking mad smack to my supers
Acting like I ain’t the one that yacked in the über
Blooper reel, it is real when I spit it
All the women fight like Israelites and Palestinians
Cutting through the mix like Aron Ralston did his arm
If you wanna get it on, get it on
In the dawn on the lawn smoking bongs with your mom
She’s a long-haired lady, I’m a long-haired man
That doesn’t mean I’m a goddamn hippy
If you’re unable to get me, I totally understand

Now pass that shit over this side
Now pass it on back over that side
If you pass it over here, while I don’t smoke often
I might take a toke, yeah, that’s right
I said pass that shit over this side
Now ya’ pass it on back over that side
If you pass it over here, while I don’t smoke often
I might take a toke, yeah, that’s right, that's right, that's right
Track Name: Alright
So recently I had a thing with this chick
She was built like a brick shit-house, dumb as a brick
I really thought I liked her, but I really must admit
I don't really think I did, I just liked giving her love
We were chilling non-stop for just over a month
That’s not a long time, but still, it was enough
For me to become well-aware she was just another sleazy-ass (what?!)
Dumb slag, bag of dung, conceded-ass raggamuff
Batter up, ‘bout to hit it out the park- MISS
This woman took a shit upon my heart- BITCH
She's a man-eater, oh, the broad's slick
Just another initial upon a long list
Yeah, I lied when you asked how many women I'd been with
You're gonna have to add a couple extra hands
I've had many before you and I'll have many after
Not saying I'm the shit, not claiming to be the man, I’m just saying
Listen, you may not be as special as you think
And I know that's what you think ‘cause you don't think about much
It sucks the way it turned out, I know baby, it's tough
I went on tour for ten days and you couldn't wait to get stuffed
I'm usually not the type to gripe or hold a grudge
But saying sorry was the least ya’ coulda done
Instead, you decided you would try and make me feel like I was crazy
Because I politely asked you what was up- Yup
And then she sends me a pic of that new kid she's with
Thinking it would make me jealous and pissed- Well it did
But still, I'm not about to give the bitch the satisfaction
Of knowing I give a fuck about who she interacts with
I bask in a haze of love and hate coagulating
I hate your fucking attitude but, babe, you're rather banging
With your newly pierced nips and your platinum died hair
You can quit watching my story, stupid bitch- You think I care? (Yes)
I know that I've been saying that she's dumb and that it's typical
But when it comes to being dumb this cunt is on the pinnacle
Oh wait I shouldn't say that, the C-word offends her
Why am I even talking about this cunt? I can't remember
One time waking up, dude, she had me weak
She actually asked me if hippos had teeth
Yo, what do you mean?? Please tell me that you're kidding
I know you must be thinking, "wow, she sounds really witty"
But wait, I got some more- One night when she was over
She said she wanted to play some video games and I said, "oh word?"
Heck yeah is what I thought initially but no, sir
She didn't know how to hold an N64 controller
So I showed her the right way- Of course she got offended
I might have told a joke- Of course she didn't get it
She said that I was crazy, I proceeded laughing
“How is it my fault that you don't understand sarcasm?”
And how's about that time you said that Hannah was a slut
And you would both be at this party and you wanted to fuck her up
And I said, "no, you really shouldn't, c'mon chill, don't stress"
And then a week later on instagram, you say you're BFFs?
Ahh yes, of course- Hey, whenever you feel the need
You can grab your bottle of lube and clean your lipstick off my sheets
Am I being too harsh? Am I being too mean?
If you didn't do me like you did I wouldn't be

You see, she's just another zombie- Little dumb blondie
Try to watch a movie, but she never stops talking
You came and got your ring- I gave away your watch
Looking basic in my driveway drinking an iced coffee
Go and find a hobby- Superficial, snobby-
Hoes, don't ya' know play the role of the prom queen
I musta’ been caught up in all of the sucking and swallowing
‘Cause otherwise these dumb sluts got nothing to offer me

Obviously, I’m not talking about all women
I respect women- I just don’t respect you
You know who you are
Fuck you and you suck
Track Name: Son
Don't ya’ mind people grinnin’ in your face
Get hip to the bullshit, get wise to the games, ride straight-
And maintain, don't stray, stay, remain patient
When separating the real from the fakes
Little snakes slither hither with a bitter plan to wither
My continually growing, soul-eroding flow elixir
Shed your skin, bitches- I spit and rattle off the richter
Reimburse your cover charge
And then you'll leave covered in blisters- I’ll fold ‘em quicker
Mister mister made me laugh when he began to shake and shiver
Couldn't take the blizzard blastin’ so pass them-
Yeah, them props- Pass 'em over here my dear
The wrath is something you can't fathom in this stratosphere
I'll gladly tear your ego into shreds and separate the two sides of your face
Who lies and awaits the time to die at the stake
It's not a dis bitch, I dismiss your whole phony craft- Wack
Grinnin’ in my face, talking shit behind my back
Track Name: Roast Beef (prod. Kato)
I'm ready to spaz- Blast phat shat- Splattering average acts
Slash with the rapping ax- Get gashed with the front, smashed with the back
Rhythmic savage stabbing the track and leaving it lying there leaking
My style is far too advanced, pansy be crying and pleading
Handle me? Never could ya’- I'm just too good, son
Go Kaboom when I say it and you’ll stay where I kaput ya
I'll wrap a mic cable around your neck and then I'ma pull it until you go pop
So stop, my flow's hotter than lava
Jack, I'm that sick- Rappers get slapped with a flaccid dick
And their rhyme books ripped up, scattered, slathered in piss
Spitting excrement, excited I step, set on the precipice
When I arrive, I'll jet and then fly higher than heaven is
(If that exists) But I ain't getting into that now
The beat is pounding loud, so I'm about lay the smack down
You max out at four but I'ma double it up
Let me summon the troubled gut and leave you stumbling son
Check it, I reckon I rock and I roll
I'ma set it way better than y'all and I'll blow it up
I can now say that well on my way
I connected a sick multisyllabic flow
And I'm kicking it, wicked when I get to spitting
I rip in two, I'm in tune with rhythm
I'm giving ‘em all of it, bottled or canned
I can shatter your frame with a mic in my hand
If you want it, come get it, I'm steadily moving
And proving that you cannot even compute it
I do it to music, I do it to nothing
I do it for me and that's end of discussion
I'm bombing upon it and breaking the beat
You be talking a lot but not saying a thing
When you add it all up, it's abundantly clear-
No competitor's ever been hanging with me
So punk, pump your brakes- I run the race verbally
Concussed and maimed, you've come for brain surgery
Like J. Dahmer, I'ma lobotomize your mind eternally
And arrange the circuitry until you’ve heard of me
You think you're gonna stop me? You're gonna have to have an army
I'll maow your slag's roast beef out back of the Arby's
And blast you with a cap gun just for being wack, son
I'll roast your faggot style in the the trash out back of the Pacsun
Send ashes back, or I'll scatter ‘em on a smacking track
Kato kicking ass like high-schoolers and hacky sacks
Action-packed- Drifting my Jetta, blasting acid jazz
Your favorite rapper’s got flows? Go grab his ass a maxi-pad
Phat, in fact, super superb- Swerve; Elegant
Back to back, purging a verse- Burst; Intelligent
Indelible, I'm making my mark, marks'll go silent
Making sure you read my rhyme every time that you close your eyelids
Fuck that overdone shit, I don't need no punch-in
Just gimme the microphone, I'll treat your whole crew to a luncheon
You cunts with your fancy videos be on some dumb shit
I'll blow holes in your dome, prone to throw flows and run shit
Bust it- I'll destroy your meek toy plans
You’re feeling weak when you see me in my b-boy stance
So look away man, no second glance- Slam anybody for tampering
Leaving ‘em tucking like Buffalo Bill, still devoid of a chance
You're a big mouth like Fairuza Balk
Or Malachai from Children of the Corn
I'm scorning y'all in in bulk
Y'all are dull and dumb, but, kid- I come equipped with a spark
When it's all said and done, you won't forget the name
It's Jarv
See ya
Track Name: B4D
Three four-fours to the bozo
Pistols, shotguns, bulldogs
17 knives to your wives (slice)
Go get life
Nine-times cool cat in a pool- swim
Slim Thug, piss jug, Slim Jim
I love sports, basketball court king
My bed creeks like recess swing
Princess, queen, my baby
Big booty bitch going crazy
Half past a bulls ass- Get dissected
Tell me that you love me

I've been around and back again
Took a red-hot walk through the devil's den
I've been around back again
Had to come back, too bad for him 2x

Big bad truck stop bandit
Rockstar's good goddammit
Dirty dad jeans, cowboy hat
Seems all things happen for a reason
It's my step sons birthday
Johnny want a gun
Cross my heart and hope to die
I'll smoke that punk for fun
Everybody got a bit of life to live
But I'm just too bad for that biker bitch
Broke her heart and then I smoked a dart
And I robbed that bitch blind
Pink flamingo lawn decor
I walk down to the corner store
Tall boy, all mine, bought some smokes
And I sold em to my step son
I ain’t tryina hear shit
Baby gurl, I'm fearless
Living off cheese sticks, beer and Doritos
Tryina watch “Aaahh!!! Real Monsters”
If I was a dog I’d rule
You'd clean my shit
You would hear me, fear me, please and appease me
If I was god I would bark (ruff)

I've been around and back again
Took a red-hot walk through the devil's den
I've been around and back again
Had to come back, too bad for him 2x

Thunder rumbles when I walk
Yeah, jazz plays when I talk
Millionaire stare, blank check gaze
At the caked up face in the billboard
Cherry stem tied in her butt crack, ooh
Walmart rollback must have
Triple C daydream, sober up nightmare
Too dirty for Axe body wash
Hungry hungry nymphos
Grungy punks and bimbos
Meth-head tweakers, velcro sneakers
Too fucked up to tie ‘em
I'm in an RV on ecstasy
Cooking methamphetamine
Spun like tires, out of tread
Mushroom cloud in the desert

I've been around and back again
Took a red-hot walk through the devil's den
I've been around and back again
Had to come back, too bad for him 2x
Track Name: PMDO
Man, I'm tighter than a b-hole
Tighter than the tightest story that could ever be told
Tight like the leg room on a Southwest flight
Tight like hipster pants, tight like how my hand grips the mic
Kid is nice, “Nice!”
Rhyming like riding bikes
Nice like a grandfather giving wise advice
Nice like the time spent rhyming with my friends
I'm nice- I ain't no Vanilla Ice
Man, I'm dope
Kid, you better act like you know
Not dope like a junkie, punk, I'm dope like a professional
Interesting how nobody knows
I'm just an ordinary average joe
But yo, I'm so cool- Now
But I wasn't back when I was in school
How did I switch it up? They thought I was a fool
Wow, they were wrong I suppose
Nowadays I'm cool enough to freeze the snot in your nose
Man, I'm nasty like the chick who flashed E last week
Snapped him a vid of her fingers slathered in algae
I’m nasty in a good way, but when I'm acting badly
I'm nasty like the cat who be driving the Fake Taxi
I’m radical- Rapping outside of the tabernacle
Heathen may begin to leave you seething-mad and baffled
Rascal, rapscallion, rabble-rousing cat
who be straddling the scaffolding and captivating crowd-fulls
Master
Master any craft that I'm after
Strapped with a note pad? You’re bound for disaster
Flash her my fangs, god-dang-it I make laughter
When I pound cats with sound that
makes compound-fractures
I'm fresh
Ya know I must profess
Superb, super duper- I flow best
Fresh like an organic veggie
I contest any pesticide when I try my best
I'm a scholar
Scholastic style- Why bother?
Read you like a book and then recite you like a proverb
If you wanna talk your drivel- get dropped for giggles and shits
Sick and legit, sticking it raw
Kid, I'm popping
24/7, I'm non-stopping
Unstoppable when I’m rocking the spot
It’s Jarv kicking it proper- Y’all lames kick rocks
Nowadays when y'all perform, you're sounding like you're on Suboxone
I’m on point
Yeah, I'm sharp like an arrow
With accuracy to clip wings off a sparrow
This long haired fuck got you walking straight and narrow
Bad to the bone- Periosteum to marrow
Versatile
Many styles I'll kick
Not just a pretty face- I also got a big heart
Sit tight for a moment, I'd quite like to know when
I oughta go in and abolish a body up out of their biggety-boasting
I divide the ocean- Redefine the quotient
I part the seas- I'm leaving these hoes open
So when, oh when did I get thrown in the mix
Sorry bitch, I do not know when

How many chicks wanna see me tonight?
How many chicks wanna see me tonight?
Heh? Heh?
Does anybody wanna see me tonight?
Does anybody wanna see me tonight?
Uh-uh

‘Cause I’m a good man
But you don’t wanna see me
When we’re chilling up in your house and I pull my d**k out
I pull my d**k out
I pull my d**k out, yeah 2x
Track Name: That's Life (prod. Shuko)
Ally was cool, but she lived a ways away
I met her at a school, visiting my friend, Nate
Long-distance, it isn’t hard to explain
I got a job and she’ a college chick- What else is there to say?
Addy was a prude, but I liked her- Yeah, it’s true
I didn’t pressure her to do what she didn’t wanna do
She’d say I was her guy and then she’d hang me out to dry
I eventually grew tired of the bottom of her shoe
Annah was a freak, we had a lot of fun at first
Had it locked down for months, then the hun went berserk
At first- Thought it was love, but the bubble got burst
The slut fucked Kyle while I was at work, but

That’s life
That’s what all the people say
You’re riding high in April
Shot down in May 2x

Back on the scene, sick of feeling fickle
Fractured the heart-strings, hard to be civil
Pissed off, used and abused- You giggle
But if you play the victim, what’s it get you?
Now I’m driving down Ascutney Street
Looking for my life under shit-town lights
But I won’t give you the luxury
Of me getting drunk and sleeping on your front lawn tonight
And now you call me on the phone
You tell me that you miss me and you’re home alone
Ha, what a trip, funny how the roles switch, stupid bitch
Fuck you think? It’s a no

That’s life
That’s what all the people say
You’re riding high in April
Shot down in May 2x
Track Name: Defense Mech
Alright, glad y’all made it
Before we begin, I’m gonna extend a little warning to any members of my family, or, you know, if you got kids in the car- You might wanna skip this song...

3 (3)
2 (2)
1 (1)

Women wanna see me, hags wanna touch me
Bitches wanna kiss me, slags wanna f**k me
(Really?)
Well sometimes, sure, if I'm lucky
Couldn't give a heck if you fat, skinny or chubby
Ugly bitches, you can still get it
Sit upon the di-dick when you finished with the dishes
After the dinner, I’ma get up in you
Then send ya back to the kitchen to fix the kid a sammich
It's the B to the L to the T for me
Extra bacon and cheddar cheese indeed
Please move quick, keep speedy for the kid
Shoot the mayo on your back like graffiti on the bridge
Get stuffed like a turkey- Slut sucked and jerked me
Upchuck the slurpee nut bust- You thirsty?
Ooooh and it's just that raw
Funbags galore when I unlatched the bra
Good god, I'm nasty- Some come to smash
And are left spazmatic, spunk-spackling addicts
Average, though most fold with the fantastic
Motion in the ocean, when I stroke, I do a backflip
Flash them tig ol' bits if you’re feeling proud of ‘em
Your dad gon’ get mad pissed when he hear my album on
So turn it up, grab your bra, burn it up
Let the big thangs hang when I come to serve the butt

Skanky chicks in lacey linens
Naked bitches taking pictures (of me)
Braid my hair, make me dinner (please?)
Naked bitches taking pictures (of me)

I'm on the highway driving a buck-six
I ain't even late, but I sure am lit
I'll pull into your driveway, you'll get in the whip
I'll work the radio, you work the stick
It's a d**k not a joke, take it hard ya’ broad
Crash into your bandicooter, I'm a naughty dog
Ya want war? On your forehead, instead of an "N"
It'll read "J A R V", let's be friends
Squeak like a door hinge, release endorphins
Begging me to dive deep, deep in your orifice
Force is never needed, really quite the opposite
Tell me if ya want it, if you want it then I wanna get you
Breathing like a cork-pop, easily before long
She be on her forearms, greasy like oil farm
Sleazy and of course, hot- Pleading for the pork chop
Teething on the corn cob, treat me like a porn star

Skanky chicks in lacey linens
Naked bitches taking pictures (of me)
Make me dinner, then do dishes (please?)
Naked bitches taking pictures (of me)

Yeah, it's just a hop, skip and a jump
For me to come put my cock-dick in your (what?)
Umm, uh huh, I can see you're very mature
"I'm a virgin" ha, yeah sure
She back it up and I love it, I be dusting the duchess
Shimmy, shake, shiver- Leg go numb when it touches
Stuffing chicks, thunderous- Honey never have enough of this
Fuck a Succubus, call me the Bussanuffuluffagus
Every single chick that I hit, mid-grade
Give 'em dick, send ‘em off with a kiss and a mixtape
"Shit nate, you so sick, this shit's great
At this rate, you'll stick every skin in the twin states"
All the whores in the place, put the floor on your face
With your hams in my hands, get your orifice glazed
That's a double entendre- Double-bag bomber
Double-duty bubble-bath- Bubble-booty on her
Ohhh yeeuhhhh, and it sounds so sick
In Jarv's bed is where they found your chick
She's a decent woman, at least that's what she said
But she's pretty freaking indecent when she is in the bed
Yes bitch, add another ex to the checklist
Mama swear to god I operate a bed and breakfast
What can I say, a player's gotta play
Baby, whatcha doin later today? Hmm?

Skanky chicks in lacey linens
Naked bitches taking pictures (of me)
Lonely women make sandwiches (for me)
(C'mon dude)
Naked bitches taking pictures (of me)

MATURE JARV: Yo are you fucking kidding me, man?

IMMATURE JARV: What?

MATURE JARV: What do you mean what? Dude, what is this bullshit?

IMMATURE JARV: Dude, I’m just joking around

MATURE JARV: Yeah, we get it, man- You think you’re super funny

IMMATURE JARV: Dude, come on

MATURE JARV: Honestly, bro- You need to grow up, like, how would you feel if Ms. Kelly heard this shit

IMMATURE JARV: I dunno, I mean- I hope she doesn’t but like-

MATURE JARV: You’re not funny, you’re not cool, fucking get your shit together and quit acting like you’re thirteen years old, okay? Seriously, grow up

IMMATURE JARV: Okay, I’m sorry, damn
Track Name: Deeyumm
Ayy, all my good friends are here now, with me in this room, it’s not just me, alone in my mother’s basement, hell no, I got people, I got people, yoooo

Bump that
Dumb phat
Type shit- I write and flip it on a fun track
Son I bust ass
If you must ask
I don't succumb to that wack, Jack- Fuck that

It’s that real shit
That’s got me feeling
Almost better than an inward heelflip
That I landed
Goddammit
I'm so fresh, I confess, I can't stand it

Yo, listen up
Lend me an ear, hear me clear like crystal
A billion kids hit with missiles
Multi-syllabic packed, ‘till we can pack houses
I'll relax, kicking that new flava out the mouth shit
yes, yes- I confess I am dirty dog
Sticking dirty broads, age 30 and above
Gimme love if you're loving it
Nothing other than punishment
I'm finna furnish a person for sleeping on my fucking shit

A bird in
The hand is
Worth two in the bush
A picture's worth a thousand words
I got naked chicks writing books (what?)
A bird in
The hand is
Worth two in the bush
A picture's worth a thousand words
But y'all only care about the hook
So get hooked like

Jump back, kiss myself
I wanna jump back, kiss myself
Done dealing with you peons
So god deeyumm dope that I'll dis myself, uhh 2x

Like, uhhh, I’m the best local rapper, fuck Jarv, man- half a verse- half a fucking band for a verse- you must be starving Nathan Jarvis, yo gibberish, gibberish, gibberish, yo check it out, check it out

Yo, chicken
Bacon
Pizza and a beer
My name
Is Nathan
The women think I'm weird
But that does
Not bother
Me, really, it's okay
‘Cause these chicks talk heaps of shit
But at least they know my name

Say my name, say my name when no ones around
Stroll to my house, baby- Let's throw down
I’ll go down, you go down- Merri-go-round- Plowed like a driveway
I’m tryina see holes- Shia La'migraine
I stay flyer than fire paint on a bi-plane
High stakes wire-attire finding what sire say
Hi Nate J to the A R V I S
I confess I'm the best-dressed mess

A bird in
The hand is
Worth two in the bush
A picture's worth a thousand words
I got naked chicks writing books (what?)
A bird in
The hand is
Worth two in the bush
A picture's worth a thousand words
But y'all only care about the hook
So get hooked like

Jump back, kiss myself
I wanna jump back, kiss myself
Done dealing with you peons
So god deeyumm dope that I'll dis myself, uhh 2x

Baby here I am, I'm a man on the MIC
The technology may be a little outdated, but baby, buy my CD
If I put your name down on the list
Bitch, you better not miss the show
And girl, don't ask me to sleep in your bed
If you don't want me taking off my clothes

So this part, originally, I had this other little thing that I wrote and, ya' know, after some time had passed, I decided I fucking hated it, so why not just take it out, right? And talk to you for some reason, but I'm gonna leave this next part in, shoutout De La Soul and Prince Paul

Will rise, not fall
What is up y'all, I'm Jarv
I'm gentle, yet mental when I kick that raw
Track Name: Bombs
Y’all don’t really want no part of this
The bars hit like parking cars in apartments
Darken the mark and embark on a journey
You bark and depart on a gurney
Call your attorney, give a guy a ring
Carry a tune, the canary’ll sing
Bury the goons ‘till the king turn queen
And he gets confused with Ariel Pink
Hair in a sink- Balling ‘em up
I’d get a CD if y’all didn’t suck
And if I wanted to hear that same exact trap beat again
Not content with uneventful, dense in the mental cunts pretending to be men
I contend with meddling mind-state
Riding a grey line in the middle of a rhyme and a pen
I will extend a Midas touch
Golden son, stylish fuck
Rhyme-galloping, high-caliber upper-classman
It’s the upper-echelon
Get your tanks and bombs, bombs and guns
You little zombies oughta blast him
But never that, Jack- Actually half of these backpack rappers are raggedy
After we battle I’m bagging ‘em up and I’m stashing the bag in a beat up V-Dub trunk
I can see the dumb fucks coming in swarms tryina test it
I’m leaving ‘em black and blue- Crack a tooth with my erection
Checkmate
Check on your girl when the best in the green state flex on the world
Y’all don’t really know what you’re doing do ya’?
Make a move and I’ma take it to ya’
Next day
You’re gonna wanna curl in ball and die, I’m making ‘em hurl
Covered in bruises, tryina lose him
Hide your booze and hire the movers
Loser
Get your face the fuck up out my section
‘Fore I take your dame to lover’s lane and get a brain inspection
Cute words said will never usher a response
If these anvils ain’t enough, I’m dropping bombs
Track Name: This Is It (feat. Nahte Renmus)
NAHTE RENMUS: Trickling Tech Deck- Wet finger
Sex with singers- Totally jet-set the zinger

JARV: Pesky clinger next to linger in lingerie made by Anne Taylor
Hand-stand a standard Camaro with Santana

NAHTE RENMUS: Banana peel slipping
I feel women and menopause

JARV: Handle these chickens
I’m glock-clicking with Cheddar Bob

NAHTE RENMUS: Trampoline dicking, I’m real sick and I’m better off

JARV: Hannity’ tripping, I wanna become a senator

NAHTE RENMUS: Off-stance in transit- Titties out, booties up
Tryina find a way to see that everybody poops enough

JARV: Who the fuck been moving up on Julia with rufilin
I will take it to all of you with bayonets and uzi guns

NAHTE RENMUS: Ahhhhhh

JARV: What?

NAHTE RENMUS: Something was touching me
Hope it’s someone that wanna suck me under the fucking seat

JARV: Ahhhhhh

NAHTE RENMUS: What?

JARV: Sucking and fucking D
Do you wanna do it?
She said, “Puh-puh-puh-prumbumbly”

NAHTE RENMUS: Bumble bee

JARV: Humbly

NAHTE RENMUS: Rolling like a tumbleweed

JARV: Tummy be

NAHTE RENMUS: Tumbling

JARV: I think that I’m hungry

NAHTE RENMUS: Grilled cheese

JARV: Sunny D

NAHTE RENMUS: Tell your mama what it be

JARV: I just wanna take this time to say what’s up to scummy T

NAHTE RENMUS: Suffering

JARV: Succotash

NAHTE RENMUS: Kick you in the fucking ass

JARV: Buffering

NAHTE RENMUS: Suck a dick

BOTH: Terrible connection

JARV: Dial up

NAHTE RENMUS: Pile on

JARV: Entering the fire zone

NAHTE RENMUS: Call me on a xylophone

JARV: Put a brand a new style on

JARV: Pimp it out
NAHTE RENMUS: This is it 4x

NAHTE RENMUS: Okaly dokaly bokaly

JARV: Woah, this shit is way too dope for me, bro

NAHTE RENMUS: Hold ‘em and told ‘em it’s gold on it’s own

JARV: I got hoes all over the globe holding me close

NAHTE RENMUS: Yo, tiddleywink, totally think like a black-light

JARV: Sit on the sink so you can sing to the bagpipe

NAHTE RENMUS: That’s right, open your mouth

JARV: Totally fat right?

NAHTE RENMUS: Looking like I’m glow-in-the-dark holding a flashlight
If you know what I’m talking about, blink once

JARV: Shoutout to the women in the crowd that drink Cum-

NAHTE RENMUS: berland-

JARV: Farms-

NAHTE RENMUS: Chill Zone-

JARV: Slushees

NAHTE RENMUS: How you gonna tell me that you still don’t love me

JARV: Lovely

NAHTE RENMUS: 1/5

JARV: Sugar in a cup of tea

NAHTE RENMUS: Looking like a punk bitch

JARV: You could never fuck with me

NAHTE RENMUS: Glove fits

JARV: Buckle in

NAHTE RENMUS: Make a bed

JARV: Tuck ‘em in

NAHTE RENMUS: Tough until I take piano wire to his double chin

JARV: Lucky 6

NAHTE RENMUS: 6

JARV: 6

NAHTE RENMUS: Looking like a fucking bitch

JARV: I dunno what’s up with you

NAHTE RENMUS: You don’t know what’s up with this

JARV: Trouble is, fun as this really might be

NAHTE RENMUS: Y’all could never body rock a mic like me

JARV: Pimp it out
NAHTE RENMUS: This is it 4x

NAHTE RENMUS: What’s this?

JARV: Something’s up

NAHTE RENMUS: Have you had enough?

JARV: Look me in the eye and tell me that you’ve had enough

NAHTE RENMUS: Guess not

JARV: Fuck it then

NAHTE RENMUS: Smack you on the butt

JARV: Kitty got the tongue again

NAHTE RENMUS: Daddy got the stuff

JARV: What stuff?

NAHTE RENMUS: Iunno

JARV: Catch you while you’re driving home

NAHTE RENMUS: Stash ‘em in a car port

JARV: Stacking up a pile of bones

NAHTE RENMUS: Smelling bad

JARV: Hella bad

NAHTE RENMUS: Yelling mad obscenities

JARV: I will be the leader of a super-human centipede

NAHTE RENMUS: Genesis

JARV: Drum fill

NAHTE RENMUS: Playing while I spill blood

JARV: Neighbors hear you screaming and they wonder why you’re still up

NAHTE RENMUS: Sit down

JARV: Get up, Listen to the water drip

NAHTE RENMUS: I’m the reason Liam Neeson don’t know where his daughter is

JARV: Take this

NAHTE RENMUS: Take that

JARV: Break your little fake rap

NAHTE RENMUS: Into bits and pieces, when I leave you’ll get your face back

JARV: Straight wack

NAHTE RENMUS: Lay flat

JARV: Feel the way the bass slap

NAHTE RENMUS: Break backs

JARV: Skate fast

BOTH: Spitting like a spray cap

JARV: Pimp it out
NAHTE RENMUS: This is it 8x
Track Name: Stand Still
Y’all feeling me right?
I’m bombing on the track like an artillery strike
Riddle me like Jimmy in Batman Forever
My rhythm is tight- Really, I might scatter and sever
I smash on the bitch to the beats that hit
My speech heats the house when it leaves my lips
Keeping it fully equip to spit and split wigs
Kids’ all up in the comments like, “Why is he not big?”
I take not a bit, not do I give a shit
Just give me the microphone, I’ll start it and I‘ll finish it
Been legit, sick, nasty- Whatever adjective you wanna pass me
I’ll gladly smash, packing a trash heap
Of words in the cranium- They rattle in my skull
If I challenged you to battle, you would have to say no
Your flow’s like a woman at her time of the month
But, kid, I’m masculine as fuck when I’m rhyming and stuff
Hymans’ll bust when I bust, trust me
Dusty beats crushed underneath the force
Formidably breach beats with a speech, sleek, smooth and it’s slick
You can admit no one’s doing it smoother than this, bitch
Yo, come on, stand still
I don't drop bars, fam- I drop anvils
Upon your headtop- Flex less, the best got tested
When I rock, place bets and set clocks
Unable to spring ahead? Better fall back
When real heads reclaim earth and serve cats their eviction notices
Time winds down, you’re tik talkin’ a lot
But you're not making a sound
Wow, how do I do it? I confound the-
Crowd, keeping ‘em moving, I move under-
Ground, get a plate, son- The taste is sweet
Arrange bass in a basement- You face defeat
I steady flip intelligent, hella legible, clever skill
If you don't get it- You gotta be kidding, kid- You never will
I'm an intellectual, yet most cats say-
Being an intellectual is so passé
Hey, pass the peas like they used to say
Grab your booster seats, I got moves to make
Now usually, you could try to use your weight
But me and you ain’t equal, I give crews a break
Fools flocking to sell souls
You rocking it? Hell no
Crews drop when the bell tolls
So hot that I melt foes
Burnt Fetish, yelling like Kelso
even Ellen went and fell upon my elephant elbow
When I batter a flow pattern average Joe's scatter
I’m smacking ‘em with a bag full of batteries- No laughing
A whole stack of them jacking me- These Jokers’ getting mad-
When queens circle the king like rings ‘round Saturn
Step stride for the time is nigh to find anyone
Thinking they rhyme sicker than I
C’mon, give it a try, you thinking you guys got what I got?
If you decide to try it, you’ll be lying in a pine box
Rappers selling out with sad attempts at staying relevant
I ain't walking out the room without acknowledging that elephant
Heaven-sent, Hell-bound
Hell-bent hell-hound
Ready to bring the whole goddamn industry down
But will I make it? What is making it? Gosh
I'll know I made it when I go skating with Aesop rock
I’ll know I made it when I stop being compared to Eminem
When, aside from my complexion, there ain’t a speck of resemblance
It’s not a dis, but he ain’t in my top 5
It’s probably Slug, Q-Tip, Slick Rick, Del and I don’t even know
It doesn’t matter, it’s the point I’m tryina get to
I learned my half my flows from big L and Chip Fu
And if I don't get where I hope to be, I'll go, “Oh well”
What should I expect? Lyrics and flow don't sell
But I ain’t worried about a gall-dang thing
As long as I got a beat, I got a story to tell
Or I’ll just talk some shit, whatever
Track Name: The Pumpkin Patch
Hey, what’s up, Thief- How you doing? How you been?
You know I love rocking to your beats, my friend
Although, I figured I would say this- No offense meant
But I made this beat and I'll proceed to beat it with the pen
Shake it up, shanked and cut, drank the blood
I’m takin the main-stage, they ain't hanging with us
When making it flood flows, I cold yank the plug
And these lames straight vacate guts caked in mud
Stay tough, tried and true- Face the danger
Y'all wear Versace, but Jarv wears Wranglers
Uhhh, check the style, I'm no stranger
To tearing up the microphone, it's quite a no-brainer
To me that is- Extremely deviant hedonism
When I get up in ‘em, feed em to the pigs
Really sick- And then I eat the mother-fucking pigs too
Your mother said I was a big dude
Now do you get the pic, dude? I'll rock your socks, drop your pistol
Or point it at the sky, you're not stopping this dude
I sift through your mix like sand in my fist
I demand you hand over your jams that exist
Oh, you got none? Aww, what a shame, punk, I'm not done
I'll end your life, I operate mics like shotguns
Boom- Ahh
Straight to the dome- Now which lady is taking me home?
Making it known now, I'ma go down-
In the history books- Sickening crook, so foul
Never know bounds, feel the bass go blaow
Disturb your heart rate and turn the place out
Say, "wow, he's amazing, I'd never heard his name
‘Till the day I saw him play and he straight caved the place in
His last name's Jarvis, his first name's Nathan
I heard he's a hermit who lurks in his basement”

Hello, wassup, hey, how ya been?
Run and tell your neighbor Jarv's at it again
Hello, wassup, hey, how ya’ doing?
Step to the kid and get ruined
Hello, wassup, hey, how ya been?
Run and tell your neighbor Jarv's at it again
Hello, wassup, hey, how ya doin?
Groove to the beat, keep moving

You cannot stop me when I'm rocking non-stop
The boss be tossing flows- Overload, talking at god-speed
I'm flossing- These hoes, they be so sopping
Listening to bomb beats, chilling, sipping some Knob Creek
You won't see me drinking Mikes Hard Lemonade
Same ol' cliche, Bob say, “turn the page”
You don't get a feature if I'm not getting paid
Hot; one million eight degrees centigrade
Churn up the butter while I serve up the gold
Turn up the verbal stove, burn up the flow
I like my women hot and I prefer my beer cold
When I burn up the stage even the firm gonna fold
That's that and nobody can twist me up
Kid, when I spit, your lips will get quickly shut
Punk, you concede defeat immediately when he bust
And you commence then to extend fisticuffs?
But I don't do that shit, so move back, bitch
Your crew lacks in tactics, who's that gonna attract?
If you wanna get schooled and you wanna learn something
My advice to you is drop the act and try to have some fun with it
Runt of the litter, son’s a punk spitter
If I say that I don't dig it, I'm a hater and I'm bitter
Right, well if that's true, riddle me this
How come every time your set hits, everyone dips?
They be leavin’ you- I ain't saying they got faith
I'm saying they make an exit when you step on stage
‘Cause they don't don't wanna hear that bullshit, played out, pissed off, tough guy persona that you activate
Had to say it- Sorry, it's the way that I feel
What's the point of making music if your music isn't real?
I just wanna have fun, make beats and kick rhymes
And I'll do it with my own voice, on my own time

Hello, wassup, hey, how ya been?
Run and tell your neighbor Jarv's at it again
Hello, wassup, hey, how ya’ doing?
Step to the kid and get ruined
Hello, wassup, hey, how ya been?
Run and tell your neighbor Jarv's at it again
Hello, wassup, hey, how ya doin?
Groove to the beat, keep moving

You move left to right
Ready, set, let's catch wreck tonight
You move front to back
From the club to the pumpkin patch (What?) 2x
Track Name: King-Loser
Me and Charlie Manson dancing to Hanson
The beat don't stop ‘till your pops pay the ransom
Your mama got ants in her pants, she be crampin’
My steelo, amigo- Goddammit, I'm ampin’

Take a little time for to find fortified rhymes
Hype and sly, divine-minded am I
Why, oh why try to define my style
I'm a stupid ass, whoever you ask will abide
Walk down streets, all the people look at me
They're like, “Jarv is a fucking idiot” and I agree
I can't blame ‘em, I'm the forsaken
Spawn of satan living in mama's basement
I skate down hills, I bust my face
Give no fucks, got a bunch to waste
Busted, concussed, like, “What's the date?
Who gives a fuck, give my nuts a taste”
Salty, sweet- Get in line for the feast
The birds and the bees break spine to the beat
Peace to the bitches, I love you all
Get fucked twenty bucks a piece
Sluts weak in the knees for the king of the losers
Greeting hoes since I was in a booster
Even though she know I'm a user
She gave me dome in her PT Cruiser
We can go where the scenery's nice
Porta-potty under cell-phone light
By the dumpster out back of The Station
You'll realize that I ain't your type
Uhhh- I'm that dude posted up in the corner of the room
Hair to my back and it's covered in mats
Bat shit, gon' spaz to the bap and the boom
“You can improve” That's what they're telling me
It's evident, apparently I'm missing it
I figured I'd get it, but I never did
I get rid of it and keep it going, knowing what I know,
It’s fair to say I won't change, no, not even a little bit

Me and Charlie Manson dancing to Hanson
The beat don't stop ‘till your pops pay the ransom
Your mama got ants in her pants, she be crampin’
My steelo, amigo- Goddammit, I'm ampin'

I'm just a delinquent, gotta measure my drinking
I'm thinking I should probably stay home this weekend
I'm no good, I should go back to my job in the shop
Find a woman, have a kid, get a dog
Let that thought sink in

You can be whatever you wanna be, go 'head and be it
You can see just what he's gonna be right when you see him
Uh, uh, uh, what’s that?
Uhhh

King-Loser 4x

No good, what a joke, what an asshole
Never could he ever get a spot in the castle
Dump wildfire on your boy from above
Black Water Bay getting hot like tabasco
Rascal, a big one- Look at what the kid done
Smashed in the back door, blasting Big Pun on a boombox
Better get lost, kid, beat it
I was like, “I got a thick one, baby- Wanna see it?”
And I dipped out- Touched down like a runner
Gunning it, outrunning her big, bad brother
Back to the lair, jump down the stairs
Bust my face but I just don’t care, yo
King-Loser relaxed on a throne made of bottles, skate decks and traffic cones
Halfway home to the halfway house
Scatter-brain poems and a pack of Stone
Go nuts, freak out, flip shit at the bar
Driveway drift- Mailbox meet car
Three in the morning- Better make french toast
And burn the house down, no good so far
No, but I’m wicked sick- Beef jerky and beer at the picnic, bitch
Don’t tell me get a grip, kid, never giving in
King-Loser gonna chill? No, not even a little bit

Me and Charlie Manson dancing to Hanson
Yeah and the beat don’t stop until your pops hands over the goddamn ransom and your mom’s got several ants crawling around inside of her pants and she beginning to cramp my whole goddamn style, but I’m ‘bout to chug down seven-seventeen fucking Amp energy drinks

I'm just a delinquent, gotta measure my drinking
I'm thinking I should probably stay home this weekend
I'm no good, I should go back to my job in the shop
Find a woman, have a kid, get a dog 2x
Let that thought sink in, baby

You can be whatever you wanna be, go 'head and be it
You can see just what he's gonna be right when you see him
Uh, uh, uh, what’s that?
Uhhh

King-Loser 4x

I wanna get a leather jacket, yeah
I wanna get a leather jacket and a chain wallet 3x
I wanna get a leather jacket, yeah
I wanna get a leather jacket with my name on it
Track Name: The Concoction
Yeah, I'm wildin' out, I’m running around smacking buns
Automatic, kid flows like a Gatling gun
Yo, you’re shunned to the wasteland- Thud to the face
Man, I flung crumbs to outer space- Nate packs a punch
Check it now, I said I'm checking out of this Earth
Head's already in the clouds, when I come down you’ll observe
The way I pound herbs, astound nerds with sound words
Sound waves to the face, kicking lames to curbs
Disperse 'fore I snap like some plexiglass
Get broke in half by the cat with the mexi-stasche
And nerd glasses, your verse lacked the word, “Rad”
Slags fastened to my sack like an athletic strap
You better grab your dictionary
Your thesaurus and your rhyme book
I'll kill ya' with a rhyme about how funny I look
I'll dissect you in front of the bystanders and make ‘em watch
This scumbag jamming to Kid Rock with his hand on his crotch
Naw, fuck that, but still I rock a book bag and a nut sack
Both, I dedicate to hoes and getting all my fucks back
I bust that raw-type talk, I might floss obnoxious
But you cannot combat this concoction

Non-stopping
What
Non-stopping
Yeah
I said you can't combat the concoction
Non-stopping
Yeah
Non-stoppping
What
I said you can’t combat the concoction 2x

Yeah, I'm so cool coming with that clever Shatner William
I’m reading Billy Shakespeare, but please believe I'm still dumb
I kill some flows check it I'm baggin’ ‘em up like Bilbo
Your girlfriend would still cum if I slapped her with a dildo
Yo chill, bro- It's elementary, I be perfection
Posted at the club, poking sluts with my erection
Let's spend some time together, quit being a skeptic
I inspected her gadget while we watched Lethal Weapon
Keep stepping- Yo, move it along, kid- I reckon
That I was wrecking shows while you was in your mama’s rectum
MCs are shit and I can smell ‘em
Yeah, it’s swell that you can make the ladies twerk
But I can make ‘em fucking headspin
Give it a rest, I'm kicking it best, sick of the rest
Yo, a kid on a quest- You better give in, don’t even test
Yo, I'm ripping the flesh, don't ever be thinking that you can impress
Bitch, I'm ripping your shit to pieces, unleashing your girl’s breasts
I'm a dirty boy- Baby, shut the f**k up when I'm talking
I'm telling you I'm sick, bitch, but you don't hear me coughing
The salad that your tossing is unbalanced to my raw shit
Kid, you can’t combat this concoction

Non-stopping
What
Non-stopping
Yeah
I said you can't combat the concoction
Non-stopping
Yeah
Non-stoppping
What
I said you can’t combat the concoction 2x

I'll go to Pizza Chef
I'll get a chicken bacon pizza
I remember being a kid
I always used to drink Orangina
I'll go down to the park
I'll break my ass off on cheese grater black-top
I remember being a kid
I used to skate more, but that don't mean I stopped

All work and no play makes Jarv a dull boy 8x

All work and no play makes Jarv a dull boy 8x
Track Name: Arrivederci
For any MCs tryina talk that shit
You can cough on a cockroach
Chalk that shit up as a loss
Get tossed by the boss of bosses
Get lost man, you're all obnoxious
Any local MCs tryina talk that shit
You can cough on a cockroach
Chalk that shit up as a loss
Done giving y'all the time of day
I'm too fine with the rhyme display, ayy

I wish that I was hard, but I'm not and never will be
Waiting for one of my enemies to come and kill me
Filthy though, my steelo’s so dang dope
In fifth grade I used to wear a Kangol
Velvet bucket- I was smooth
That's not true, but I felt real cool
Elementary school, listening to my Clipse CD
While rocking a Sean John jumpsuit
Yeah, I'm still slick today
I'm just doing the dang thang in a different way
If you came to the show, you'll say the kid don't play
While I barter with the owner tryina get real paid like a Beck song
Check hoes with a flexed arm, Flexo got his flex on
Six chicks laid out in a hexagon, I'm tryina get my darn sexy on
Uh, yeah, shouts out J Timberlake
We’re building a huge jump on Christmas break
I'll hit it on my snowboard, launch into orbit and jump my neighbor's driveway
(What?)
Ayy, blame it on my ADD
Baby, would you maybe sail away with me?
All I need is a double L Bean fleece and an AC/DC CD
Aww hell, Hell's Bells- Success, sex sells
If you like what you see, baby, help yourself
Carve in a bed post, notch in a belt
Taking off my shirt, “I've been workin out, can you tell?”
She was like, "Uhh, yeah, I can"
And I was like, “Joke's on you because I haven't been
It's not really a reason for you to start crying”
She looked me in the eye like, "please
STOP LYING”
“Babe, I'll never be the one to tell you what to do
Because I do what I want to do all the time
And I'm gonna continue doing that a lot
But I bought a cattle prod, I'm ready to get weird
If you ever need a chair, sit here”
"This kid's weird" Yeah, that's what they all say
They don't find it funny when I ask ‘em how my balls taste
Cant worry ‘bout my foul sense of humor all day
I'm tryina throw my hot dog down a hallway

There's not another on the planet that can do it like me
I'll never settle down, baby, I'ma do my thing
I'll rise and MC my eulogy, Look y'all in the eyes like, "Who's the king?"
There's not another on the planet that can do it like me
I'll never settle down, baby, I'ma do my thing
If she wanna see what this dude can bring
I'll propose to the bitch with a NuvaRing
I'm so sweet, aww, does she deserve me?
Buy me beer, I'm freaking thirsty
I'm showing up late, then I'm leaving early
Hasta la vista, arrivederci
Honestly, man- Does she deserve me?
Buy me beer, I'm freakin thirsty
I'm showing up late, then I'm leaving early
Ha, arrivederci

Hey, hey, hey, uhh, wait a minute, uhh, check this out

Arrivederci, goodbye motherfuckers
High up in the sky, I’m a fly motherfucker
Zipping into orbit, of course more than a bit morbid
I morph into a war plane and style on you suckers
Wassup widdit? Jarv back upon his bullshit
Busting at bitches and whack rappers with a full clip
Of lyrical projectiles, slip and get me vexed-
I’ll appear upon the set and make a mess of all your textiles
Heck I’ll even proceed to leave beats bleeding
Yes, I’m keeping it even as E Stevens
Leaving evil people competing heated and seething
Either you get on your feet and you leave or you be seated
Keep sleeping- Looking like you need a day off
A brief meeting with your supervisor oughta pay off
Unless your supervisor’ name is J to the A R V
Pardon me, MCs are getting laid-off
Take off, don’t forget your severance packages
An sm58 to the face, get your bag and dip- Leave, now
The people want it dirty
Hasta la vista, arrivederci
Oooh yeah, the people want it dirty
Hasta la vista, arrivederci
Said, ohh baby, we need to keep it dirty
Hasta la vista, arrivederci

People in the back, get up off the wall
Spaz to the beat, get your feet involved
People on the sides, get up off the wall
Jive to the beat, get your feet involved
People in the back, get up off the wall
Spaz to the beat, get your feet involved
People on the sides, get up off the wall
Jive to the beat-
ARRIVEDERCI, Y’ALL

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